thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
