Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
