people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
