just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
