she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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