What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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