I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
