Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
