She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
