I hate your face
how can u be prego again
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
