I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
