lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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