your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Terrible idea I love it
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
