Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The best revenge is premature balding
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
