she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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