I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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