I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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