Got a toothbrush?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
