your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
