i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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