Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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