my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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