So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
