hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
