Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
