If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
