How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
sex in a hospital.. check
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
