tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
