I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize