I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
