Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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