i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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