Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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