I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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