i would punch a child for taco bell
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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