I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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