I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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