you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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