if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
