windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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