White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
