um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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