Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
