this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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