I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
