Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
