she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think a kid would responsible me up
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
