My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
