I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
