i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
