i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
