you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
