So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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