So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Randomize
